Funny WhatsApp Status

  • Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
  • The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
  • Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
  • It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. ”Are you sitting on the remote?” No. ”Stand up”.
  • Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
  • Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
  • God is really creative, I mean…just look at me.
  • May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
  • When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
  • Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body?
  • Relationship Status: Looking for a Wi-Fi connection.
  • They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
  • That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
  • Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
  • I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  • I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
  • I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
  • When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
  • The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
  • One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
  • Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
  • Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
  • I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
  • Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
  • People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
  • When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
  • The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
  • I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
  • I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
  • Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
  • Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
  • I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
  • The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
  • The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.
  • Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
  • If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
  • I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
  • Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
  • Oooooh, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put a `lol` at the end of it.
  • Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
  • I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
  • Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
  • When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
  • Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
  • I’m jealous my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs
  • I’m the dude with cool attitude
  • Yes I am smiling and you’re not the reason anymore.
  • Silence is the best response to a fool.
  • A tear is made of 1% of water and 99% of feelings.
  • It’s not an attitude, it’s the way I am.
  • I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.
  • My life my rules. _|_
  • Don’t judge me I was born to be awesome not perfect.
  • I do not get drunk- I get awesome.
  • Time is precious waste it wisely.
  • Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • A jealous woman does better research than FBI.
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  • The only reason I am fat because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
  • Going to Macdonald for a salad is like going to prostitute for a hug.
  • The best things in life are free, the second best are very expensive.
  • I am not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I am right.
  • Unless your name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
  • Some people need a HIGH-FIVE, in the face with a chair.
  • Pople are like ‘MuSic’ some say the ‘TrUth’ and rest, Just noise..
  • Why is ‘Monday’ so far from ‘Friday’ and ‘Friday’ so near to ‘Monday’??..
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my status…
  • I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Antivirus’ in my heart..
  • I am Waiting for GF Message!
  • There comes a point in life, when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will..
  • I miss the days when I was put my head on my desk…
  • Always smiling, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile…Smile please…!!
  • When you care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours.!!
  • Sometimes you need to maintain a distance to keep them close to you..
  • Good thing is listening a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone…
  • Beauty is like Moon, looks much better at Night…
  • Your looks don’t make you Beautiful, it’s the person inside who makes you beautiful..
  • Someone asked me How is your life? I just smiled and replied, She is fine..
  • I don’t care what people think or say about me!..
  • I am learn from My Mistake!Without Mistake We Can’t Learn Best.
  • There are two type of people winner and Losser,Winner always Working Hard,Losser Always try to shortcut for win.
  • Your whatsapp status say’s online… If your online then, why aren’t you msg me!
  • Try to solve your problem yourself… Don’t Depend on other..!
  • Every people is a intelligent, When he work Hard!
  • Please don’t get confused between my my attitude and personality!
  • If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
  • I’m cool but Summer made me hot!
  • Apni to bass ek hi wish hai… Ser pe Taaj.. Sath me koi Khass Aur is kamini duniya pe Raajjj !!
  • Life is too short Don’t waste it updating status!
  • Work until you don’t have to, introduce yourself.
  • Those who know love has also the risk of knowing pain.
  • I want my Girlfriend like Google, She will understand me better.
  • Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don’t have.
  • Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… It’s called #Sunday, please fix it !
  • I Wish My Parents Were Like Google… They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete…
  • Every problem comes with some solution… If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a Girl!
  • I am not Spiderman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my GF.!
  • WIFE and INSULT Are Somewhat Similar, They Always Look Good,IF IT IS NOT YOURS!
  • In Love Story, Mom Agrees And Dad Disagrees? It’s Because Mom Knows What Love Is, And Dad Knows What Boys Are…
  • I have no time to hate people, who hate me.. because, I’m always busy in loving people, who love me..
  • People say me bad.. but trust me I am the worst!
  • I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.
  • There are three sides to an argument.. my side, your side and the right side.
  • Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off…
  • ‘Dream’ as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one…
  • Galileo-Great mind! Einstein-genius mind! Newton-Extraordinary mind! Bill gates-brilliant mind.. ME-Never Mind!
  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  • Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
  • The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children
  • Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
  • DRINK TRIPLE, SEE DOUBLE, & ACT SINGLE.
  • Always trying to cool myself.
  • Teachers Only Teach The Rules… But Winners, Winners Make The Rules.
  • My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day
  • Live ♀, Laugh ☺, Love ♥
  • Keep calm and enjoy life.
  • People with status don’t need status…
  • never give people permission to disrespect you….
  • life is simple if we are simple….
  • Dreams are just the brain’s Screen-savers.
  • Life without mistakes is like, education without books.
  • People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
  • We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
  • It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miracously we live.
  • Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
  • Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is last one.
  • Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else.
  • You don’t have to like me… I am not a facebook status.
  • The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
  • Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
  • At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 🙂